Chick Flicks

I have a lot of mixed feelings about "chick flicks". Part of me loves them and part of me hates them. The part of me that loves them is the part that likes to think about one day. It likes to day dream and imagine my very own happily ever after, with my very own Godly man. It likes to imagine that the story book ending I just witnessed, could happen to me.

The problem with this part of me, is that it's toxic to be immersed in day dreams all of the time. It is nice to think about the possibilities, but the more I indulge the (I want to say fantasies, but it's never a sexual thing), the more my expectations grow and before long, my demands could be so high that no one would ever reach them. I'm not suggesting that we should have low expectations, but I am encouraging the notion that every person we meet will have some obvious character flaw. We are all equally messed up, and therefore, a relationship between two messed up people will likely never be perfect. One might argue that through God a perfect relationship could exist, and maybe it could, but the truth is, I've been in relationships where God was the center, and my boyfriend was a Godly man, and things still went wrong somewhere. I think it's important to remember that reality is completely seperate from movies, which can be too easy to forget, especially for women.

I once heard it said that chick flicks are "emotional porn". Unfortunately, I would agree with this idea, unless you are able to seperate reality from the hollywood, picture perfect, super cheesy, scripted lines coming out of a man who is probably wearing more makeup than I have ever worn in my life. We watch movies like Twilight and expect that an "impossibly beautiful" vampire with super human strength will come into our lives, save us from a car accident, and devote his entire life to loving us. I thought it was hilarious and tragic that there is a facebook group for guys who have been dumped by their girlfriends after they saw twilight, because they couldn't measure up to Edward Cullen.

It is important to know your worth and know your value. You deserve to be treated (to be super cheesy) like royalty. You deserve love and you were made for it.

BUT:
If you are single - in the mean time, do not be discontent with your current circumstances. Take this time to push deeper into Christ, and to learn who you are as an individual. If you do this, with all of your heart, before long, you will find more patience that you ever knew existed.
If you are in a relationship - have patience with your partner. They are likely flawed just as you are. Do not expect the hero(ine) in the last chick flick you saw to suddenly replace the person you are dating. However, if he/she really needs to spend more time in Christ and getting to know who they are, it's probably the best thing you can do for them and for yourself to let them go.

As for chick flicks, they are fun if you can seperate fact from fiction but they're toxic if you can't. There was a time when I wouldn't let myself even listen to love songs because they caused me to desire a relationship, and I knew my heart wasn't ready for one. Know yourself, know your heart, and know your God. The rest is just details.