Vancouver

I've only been away from home for about 2 months, and I learned that I would rather see my mom's first drama at our church, then be in an Olympic city during the Olympics.

I've learned that I can live without many things but there are a few things, that my heart is aching for here. God has been showing me what is really important in my life. I spent so much time at home complaining about my family and my small town and my general life that I forgot to see how beautiful parts of it are.

I have some really really amazing friends at home. And rather than being with them, I spend a lot of time sitting around my apartment doing absolutely nothing. Jordan is one of the busiest people I know. She goes to school full time and works 30 hours a week. She is in one of the healthiest relationships I have ever seen, and she is usually up until 2 am working on homework for school. She has no time. And so I spend my days either at work, or alone. I haven't been able to find a church out here and I can feel the huge difference in myself from being away from the amazing church community I had at home.

God is redeeming my family. I can see it. It's happening so slowly that sometimes I loose hope and I give up, but God is showing me through my step dad that no one is too far to turn to Him. My parents have become different people in the last few months. Dave has started going to NAC on Sundays with my Mom, who recently connected with the leader of the drama department at NAC and is able to use her years of acting school to benefit the Kingdom. She feels fufilled and Dave can see the change in her. 5 years ago, I was the only Christian in a family full of people that mocked me for it every day. Today, two members of that family want to learn more, one gave her life to Christ and was baptised last summer, and I can see that Dave is finding God in his life.

I learned that I would rather sit in my old kitchen having late night conversations with my mom, than sit on my free couch in my nice apartment watching tv. I learned that something big is missing from my life when I don't have the oppurtunity to work with children. I learned that some friends are too valuable to leave behind, even when surrounded by other great friends. I learned that a real community is hard to find and worth fighting for. I learned that my life, for all the griping and whining I've done about it, is really pretty great at home. I learned that my heart won't be satisfied until I get my feet back on the ground in Africa, and there really aren't any substitutes for that.

It's funny that I was so stubborn that God needed to bring me all the way accross the country to realize these things. But I am so thankful that I finally listened to Him. At the risk of looking flaky, I am going to be moving home at the end of next month. I know an amazing family that is looking for a full time live in Nanny in Newmarket and I'm going to be looking for something similar. Its going to be important to have my own space after living on my own for 3 months, so I'm really looking forward to seeing what God provides.

The truth is that I've been feeling this call back to Ontario for a while and I ignored it because I was worried that people at home would think I was flaky, but I know that what's happening between me and God is more important than what some people will think of me.